AN UNUSUAL TREE
“ … please scratch if itchy …”
This unique tree species of Central Australia is known colloquially as “The Bum Tree” or, to give the tree its official appellation, bareus derriereus.
Although the species was first identified by early pioneers in the mid-1800s, horticulturists, naturalists, and others of their ilk, being of hyper-sensive natures, decided to leave the species unidentified in the annals of Australian vegetation types for fear of upsetting the ladies of a gentler era than our own.
Contemporary observers of trusted reputation have recorded over the years having found in the immediate vicinity of the tree’s trunk rolls of toilet paper and other introduced objects. but these additives are generally agreed to be the mischief of irresponsible bushmen, and others, intent on deluding the uninitiated.
Itinerant vandals have also been known to carve into the trunks of such trees graffiti that make such inane comments as “kiss me” or “please scratch if itchy.”
However, it should be acknowledged that bareus derriereus has been declared a protected species and should not to defaced, dishonoured or treated disrespectfully. A gentle pat in passing is recommended.
-The Boss.
