PETROL
“…how expensive it was…”
Dear Boss,
When I was in Alice Springs I was amazed at how expensive it was to buy petrol for our hire car. We were hoping to travel all over the outback, but that wasn’t possible because of the expense. Is anything being done to help the petrol situation?
James Harawari, New Zealand.
*REPLY: Out west of the Alice a group of Aboriginal blokes started messing around by concocting a new form of petrol that was far cheaper than the stuff they sell at the pumps in town. The blend was kept a strict secret, but rumour had it that some of the ingredients were goanna oil. They boiled down a goanna or two in a drum over the campfire, scooped the resultant oil off the top, added some other unknown things – one was garlic, I think – and the mess was carefully poured into the tank of their old cars with marvellous results.
A copper I interviewed later said the Goanna Juice was definitely a viable substitute for orthodox petrol.
“It was like high octane stuff,” he said, “and the cars took off like a jet, full of raw power. It was wonderful to see it in action.”
“Did you ever try it in your own vehicle?” I asked, nodding towards his big 4-wheel-drive.
“Too right,” he said. “At first, I just added a bit to ordinary unleaded petrol. But you could see the big difference straight away. All that new power was a bit scarey.”
Big petrol companies started to take an interest in the newly brewed Goanna Juice and were in the process of offering big money to gain exclusive rights over the product,” the copper told me.
Unfortunately, the Goanna Juice in time showed a flaw that curtailed the massive sale.
“You see,” the copper said, “it was found out that after you ran your car on Goanna Juice for a while, the cars kept swerving off the track and tried to run up trees …”*
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